Do the words "I can never stick to my goals" or "If I can't do it perfectly it's not worth it" sound familiar to you? Do you identify as a high achiever or have been at one point in your life?
These may indicate that your goal setting mindsets have been impacted by the brutal virus of perfectionism. It stalks those who are highly capable and sets their sights on lofty heights, with the sinister goal of slowly dismantling their confidence through the process.
It's a common story for those (including myself) who have had some success in their life, that starting all over on a health journey feels very daunting. I've been the person to go from almost no activity to getting qualified as a pilates instructor and trying to workout everyday in a very short (and unsustainable) amount of time. And trust me that did not last long! As life, health and lack of real care for my wellbeing tended to derail any fitness goals that didn't stem from a deep love for caring for my wonderful body.
Three Tips To Set Sustainable Goals
(without perfectionism ruining it all...)
If you are familiar with an all or nothing mindset it will be no stranger to you the cycle of failed goal setting. And the underlying reason will always come back to intentions. If you are trying to maintain a wellness routine to prove something about who you are to others, to undo past mistakes or to try and prove to yourself that you are good enough... unfortunately, your time of relapse will come. It may take a while but the mind and body can only run off external motivators for so long. We base our actions on the beliefs we have about ourselves. If yours are that you are not good enough or that you have to prove yourself to the people that hurt you, there will not be enough fuel in your tank to maintain new goals.
This step is the biggest and can be the most confronting, but taking time to go deep with yourself will only transform your life for the better. You can get to a place of loving who you are and making choices simply because you value your mind and body.
2. Stepping Stones, Not Mountains
Once you have addressed the why, this tip is a fun one to implement. Writing down the smallest of steps to take towards your bigger goals will free your mind to enjoy the small wins. Letting go of striving for perfect, choose SMART steps that are highly achievable. Each week write up these stepping stone goals and in small increments watch your confidence grow!
Instead of;
I am going to work out for and hour every day this week
try
I am going to go for a walk Monday, Wednesday and Friday for a minimum of 20 min.
It may feel silly at the start, but please please trust me that this is such a satisfying and releasing way of making lasting change.
3. Experiment and Trial
Finally, choose to adopt an experimentation mindset. Releasing the idea that you are headed towards one specific idea of routine and allow yourself to keep trying new things. If you didn't get to those walks you planned for don't declare it a failure, but take it as a learning opportunity. It can sound corny, but choose curiosity over judgment. There you will find a new level of empathy and creativity to get yourself to the healthy place you'd like to be in. Embrace the mindset that this is a process, you don't need to get it all right, all you need to do is remain an active participant in learning more about you!
I hope this helped you to crack the code of why you (as a highly capable human) might struggle with maintaining a new routine. And please let me know if you have any questions.
We offer Wellness Coaching for those who would like a parter and accountability on their health journey, if that is you please reach out today!
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